Personal Growth with Michael and Carolyn

At Loveworks, we believe that one of the ways that you can become one of the best versions of yourself is to focus on personal growth. We love curating things like books, music, organizations, blogs or resources that have encouraged your personal growth. 

Today, we are going to share with you a book recommendation that we hope may help fuel your leadership journey.

The Heart of Leadership: Becoming a Leader People Want to Follow by Mark Miller

Are you the type of leader people want to follow? You can be—but first, you’ve got to understand what sets great leaders apart from all the rest.

Leadership in Turbulent Times by Doris Kearns Goodwin

Are leaders born or made? Where does ambition come from? How does adversity affect the growth of leadership? Does the leader make the times or do the times make the leader?

In Leadership, Goodwin draws upon the four presidents she has studied most closely—Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Lyndon B. Johnson (in civil rights)—to show how they recognized leadership qualities within themselves and were recognized as leaders by others. 

Winning: The Unforgiving Race to Greatness by Tim Grover

Whether you’re an athlete with championship dreams, an entrepreneur building a business, a CEO managing an empire, a salesperson closing a deal, or simply a competitor determined to stand in the winner’s circle, Winning offers thirteen crucial principles for achieving unbeatable performance.

Lt. Wayland Cubit: Oklahoma City Police Lieutenant focused on community outreach, Speaker, Master Mentor and Trainer 

Lt.Wayland Cubit started his law enforcement career in 1996. He studied Criminal Justice Administration at the University of Oklahoma, Police Science at Oklahoma State, and Family Studies at Southern Nazarene.

He has a passion for serving youth in at-risk communities. He established the Family Awareness and Community Teamwork (FACT), which is a youth outreach program focusing on mentorship, building character, and empowering at-risk youth. The program reduced juvenile delinquency and involvement with the criminal justice system and earned him the title of Master Mentor. He volunteers as a facilitator and trainer of Effective Police Interactions with Youth.

Discovering Empathy

Wayland coined the word, “othering” and defines it as getting out of your own self and thinking about how what you do and say affects others.  He starts his day by sitting on his bedside contemplating the day; setting a game plan and a mission for the day with one question in mind, “How can I care for others on a daily basis?”

At 12 years old, an active boy who loved action, cops and robbers, and to save the say, Wayland knew he wanted to become a police officer.  Not in the popular crowd but having lots of friends and always in trouble for talking in class, Wayland discovered he had a natural ability and passion to care about the viewpoint of others; what they need and what they want.

As a veteran on the police force he is well aware of the sacrifice to his physical self but it’s the sacrifice he makes on a daily basis to understand and empathize with others that makes the real difference.

How To Build Bridges Over Your Bias – TEDxOklahomaCity

What would it look like for people to overcome their bias? In his TEDTalk Wayland shares his personal experiences as an African American Police Officer confronting issues surrounding bias and race. He doesn’t just reveal the chasm of divides created by bias, but he also shows us the way of building bridges instead of walls. Can you imagine a world where empathy, understanding, and reconciliation become the new normal? Wayland shares how we can create this kind of a future together.  

The Family Awareness and Community Teamwork (FACT) 

In 2010, his experience, reputation in the community and support from police administration inspired him to establish the Oklahoma City Police Department F.A.C.T. Unit (Family Awareness and Community Teamwork), which is an youth outreach program that focuses on mentorship, building character and empowering at-risk youth, which ultimately reduced juvenile delinquency and involvement with the criminal justice system. The officers assigned to this Unit believe through early intervention we can help youth fight the pressure of gangs, and involvement in juvenile delinquency. The officers also mentor the youth for the purpose of instilling good character traits/life skills through positive learning opportunities. 

Rules of Life

Wayland has just three rules he lives by:

1. Add value to people and the community
2. Believe in what people can become
3. Just love people. No strings attached.  

We all will be disappointed with the people in our lives but it doesn’t change the way you love them.  Do not confuse fact with feelings.  If love is a fact, there is nothing you can do to change it.  Love is not a feeling.  Love requires work.  Love is an action.  Love works.  For people, with people, alongside people, having compassion for people, suffering with people.  This is love.  

Wayland’s Advice – You are the solution

You may keep messing up but you are not the problem; you are the solution.  You are the solution to someone else’s problem.  Don’t worry so much about being successful and focus on being significant.  Chase purpose not pay.  If you chase purpose you will find fulfillment.  Real leaders are defined by the people who are willing to sacrifice what they want for what other people need over and over again.  

You can find Wayland online on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and join the weekly facebook live Conversations with Cubit

Key Takeaways

• Stick to the game plan
• Keep caring no matter what
• Add value to people and the community